Musings of a Masters Runner

California International Marathon (CIM)

2011-01-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose I could not put it off any longer. On December 5, 2010, I ran another marathon - the CIM in the scary city of Sacramento. (Scary because all of the US is a crime-ridden hellhole full of gang members and Paris Hilton types.)

My posse consisted of Jonathan Withey (aka Basil), A.J. Rankel, Ian Blockland, and Brendan Lunty. If we were engaged in a rumble with a rival gang, we would surely survive unless they had firearms. I wonder what we might call our wondrous gang? Any suggestions?

I have to say, I was VERY nervous about this race. Truth be told, I am nervous about all my races, but the marathon always makes me crap my pants. It`s SO long. And, it hurts. A lot. All my running is like that I suppose.

My last marathon was May 2009. I had a year and a half "rest"; I just needed to shut up and do it.

We arrived the day before and drove the course. I have never done this before and I will never do this again. I want to be unequivocally clear, this is not a morale booster. (Please, no crap from the ultra people about the marathon being like a 5K. I am fragile and, to me, 42.2K will always be really freakin' far!) The long drive aside, I got the hint this course was not as easy as we originally believed. More to come on that later....

CIM starts at the Folsom Prison. The likely second home to many of Jon's hotel "mates" in Sacramento, this infamous pen opened in 1880 and witnessed the execution of some 93 condemned prisoners. (I am against capital punishment but at least they were put out of their misery; even if we ran the 32K back to Sacramento, we would still have to go another 10K to finish what we came there to do. Jesus that's far. Black clouds started to form overhead...)

We grabbed a bite at a Quizno`s near the prison before we started our drive. It was there that we heard our marathon song, the one that would get us through: Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins. It became the theme of the weekend.

Race morning started at 4:45. AJ was first up, full of vim and vigor, while I eyed my unappealing, two day old bagel. After eating one piece of bread with peanut butter and honey (thanks AJ!), we caught the bus to the prison (if I had a buck everytime I said that...).

We arrived at the start at 6 and conditions were beautiful: 10 C, no wind, and wet pavement from an overnight rain. My posse was entertaining to hang with so the mood was light. Despite this, I am still shaking with apprehension. I worry Brendan can see my hand violently shaking as I try to hold my water bottle. I pee four times in 40 minutes.

I am lucky; a group of women are trying to meet Olympic qualifying times so there is a 2:45 pace leader. I was still not quite sure what I was going to try for that day, but that sounded like a good option.

The start was highly chaotic. There were no corrals so everyone just crams up to the front. I lose the pacer, but manage to hang on to AJ and Ian. Not surprisingly, Brendan and Jonathan are long gone. The first half of the race is basically grades. Thanks to Basil, I have been doing almost all my training this summer by feel. Despite the hills, I decide early I feel okay and settle in to what feels good. I do have some misgivings when I pass the 2:45 pacer, but I throw caution to the wind to see what I might be capable of.

The first half of the race passes uneventfully, except for one thing. In retrospect, a very important thing. The course drink is Ultima. Awful, awful stuff. I figure I can make it work. (I do not take gels as they upset my sensitive, marathoner tummy.) A split second after taking a swig at the second water station, I realize it`s not gonna work. I spit it out and am left with a dilemma: take the Ultima and risk being sick, or try and make it on water alone. I cannot bear the idea of an upset stomach and decide to just drink water. Ah, yes, hindsight....

I pass halfway in 1:19:50. Still feeling fine. Kenny Loggins rocks! I reach 20 miles in 2:02. I AM TOP GUN! But wait. Seconds later I start to feel a combination of the hilly first half and no sports drink/gels. It`s getting really hard now! I know, I know, this is always the way. I struggle the rest of the way. I mean I REALLY struggle. The 2:45 pacer passes me. Bastard.

My CIM ends with a 2:46. Go ahead, figure out how long it took me to run the last 10K after 20 miles in 2:02. Not pretty.

Overall, I am very happy with my result; I tried and still had a race I am proud of.

Despite my early statements to the contrary, I will try again next year...with a little more planning.

"redline, overload......"

Intact Edmonton Marathon and Half-Marathon

2010-08-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday was quite a day! A little 21.1 K jaunt through Edmonton went pretty freakin` well for me and my friends.

I broke into the 1:16`s, which, I admit, has me quite pleased with myself. You never really know where you're at until you get out there and test yourself (my last couple of interval sessions had not gone so well and I was questioning myself).

But, this post isn't about me. The outstanding performance belongs to Michael McBeth who ran a 2:51 marathon. (No offense Brendan, I knew you were going to win because you're just sooo happy all the time!)

Other impressive finishes belong to:

-A.J. Rankel - running yet another blisteringly fast marathon... which is his way. His lovely wife, Christine, also ran a smokin' half herself!

-Basil - always making hyper-fast running seem easy, and normal. I think his secret is one from the Rankel playbook. It's the hat with the scars/history that go with it.

-Niall McGrath - laying down an impressive PB, and dropping me in the last couple of K`s like I was not trying hard enough.

-Greg Meiklejohn - again with an impressive PB. I am not sure how he does it. Perhaps a test for EPO or some other performance enhancer is in order......

-Jack Cook - with his back cooperating, has an excellent marathon and is spotted smiling afterward. All is good.

I must mention my brush with a couple of superstars from the west coast. Marilyn Arsenault and Katherine Moore graced Basil and me by sharing a short run together on the Saturday before the race. Both wonderful people who take the time to chat with the little people like myself (a great treat given that Basil barely talks to me....).

And now, it's time for beer. Anyone joining me?

Cheryl's Corner

2010-08-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

Edmonton's Competitive Male Runners: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

--Lynn Anderson, 1970

As the wife of a competitive runner, there has been rain. Lots of rain. I love Mark dearly but he loses his senses about 24 hours before a race and doesn't regain them until he crosses the finish line. Is this unusual? Are there others whose husbands are just as unstable? The answer, my friends, is yes.

I asked four "running wives" to dish about their husbands - to provide some insight, if you will, into what makes competitive runners tick. Naturally, there was some reluctance at first but then the responses poured in! Thanks to email, and under the cover of darkness (I read them when Mark was asleep), all was revealed. I have to say, their responses made me l feel better. Looks like Mark may be normal after all!

Now it's your turn to find out...

Do they all get neurotic before a race? Do I need to know Jonathan's PB in the marathon when I can't even remember my mom's phone number? Do you really need all those shoes? ...Actually, I take that one back.

Cheryl: Let`s talk pre-race rituals. We want to laugh at the ridiculous things our husbands do the night before a big race, but don`t in the hopes of appearing supportive. What ritual always makes you shake your head or laugh inwardly?

Liz: The night before a race, Jonathan likes to crumple up his race number so it's nice and soft before pinning it onto the top he'll race in. The race number is meticulously and loving pinned into the top, and the top is then tried on to make sure the number is perfectly positioned: not too high up the ribcage, not too low to make noise when the legs are moving, and of course, level. Safety pins are often saved afterwards, and accumulate in groups of four around our house.

Dorothee: The ritual is getting actually prepared for something way ahead of time. It is fascinating to watch, and a joy to know, there is a niche somewhere which allows a "no rush - all is there".

Tina: Steve frets over shoe selection, and clothes selection - deciding, then changing his mind (there is a plastic bin that accompanies him to the races just for all the running attire).

Christine: AJ lays out his things....you know..his stuff...in a certain spot the night before a race. He puts on his singlet and pins the bib so that it is exactly parallel to the hem of the shirt and doesn't pucker anywhere (difficult if you take into account his manly chest), double checks that his socks (which when purchased have the date written on them in laundry marker...eg. 07/25/10 'A' and 07/25/10 'B' to ensure that they are only ever worn as a matched set) are the newest and most comfortable pair that he owns, lays out the ugly hat, salt pills, gels, body glide, shades, chip and...the straw. The certain spot if it's a home race is on the chair in our bedroom. If it's an away event, it's usually the hotel chair. Yuck. Does he know what people do on hotel chairs? I've SEEN that episode of The Doctors. Once upon a time, in Ottawa, when I was relatively new to the game, I made the mistake of moving AJ's 'pile' from the germ/fecal bacteria/bodily fluids- contaminated chair to the table while he was in the bathroom. I think that's one of the only times he's ever yelled at me. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF! He meant it nicely though. I'm over it. Germs. Whatever.

Cheryl: Running through an injury; our husbands know better but do it anyway. I`m not going to ask how the story ends because I know first hand and will just say one word - wheelchair. As a wife, how do you cope?

Dorothee: Since I told him 4 years ago I am merciless and have no pity left in my soul, he became really, really good in taking care of his precious running equipment. Smart training - smart resting.- no injuries.

Tina: I ensure all necessary insurance and other coverage is up to date....

Christine: Because it just wouldn't be a race without the ridiculous non-running related injury that occurs in the weeks before an event. Yes, it seems like EVERY time. The more important or costly the race, the more spectacular and bizarre the injury. Let's see....how about the volleyball injury 21 days pre-New York 2007? That resulted in a huge, purple and black ankle that was colorful enough to be photographed and put on the internet. There was the baseball injury that put him out of running completely for the season about 10 years ago. Then, of course, there was the phone call I received at work the week before we were to leave to run Berlin. "Honey, um...before you get upset....we're STILL going to Berlin, but I broke my hand." Awesome. Biking along, he had a head-on collision with a gaggle of kids. 'Cause we all know running with a cast increases your marathon speed.' Then, true to form, two days pre-Death Race, he does a beautiful swan dive (a 10 from the Canadian judge) from the high diving board at Fred Broadstock pool, and the board rebounds while he's in mid-air and takes a large-ish chunk out of his toe. You know, the one he needs to run Death Race with two days from now? I have taken the ostrich approach to the running injuries. I stick my head in the sand. Tap me on the bum when it's over...

Cheryl: What is the best excuse you have used to not go watch one of his races?

Dorothee: That I would be a huge burden since I always need tons of attention before and after a race - life is so much easier now : ).

Tina: 1) I must paint my toes, and 2) I have a family reunion. (They were separate events.)

Christine: Hardly ever happens actually, but I don't spectate the cross-country series because it involves a drive across town in rush hour, and traffic jams give me panic attacks.

Cheryl: How many pairs of running shoes does your husband own? Do you think this is a normal?

Liz: I'm pleased to report Jonathan only has three or four pairs of running shoes. He literally runs them into the ground.

Dorothee: Four pairs/different styles. Great way to not trigger injuries - so, yes, I think it is reasonable. Any older/more pairs get a nice Good Bye celebration; I mean one has to understand the bonding after miles and miles of company they keep - his feet and those many shoes!

Tina: I would never find them all to even count! They are everywhere - closets, basement, shoe boxes, under bed, car trunk, etc. Normal?? Not likely.

Christine: 31. I plead the 5th on whether or not this is normal. AJ and I don't discuss each other's shoes....

Cheryl: Pre-race sex. Yes? No? No comment?

Liz: I'll take whatever I can get.

Dorothee: Wouldn't you be completely surprised getting suddenly an invitation to McDonald's if you are used to slow food?

Tina: Yes, and the 4 housemates in Grande Cache had best watch themselves!

Christine: Yup. If we're still talking to each other the night before a race that is. I'm am allowed to touch some of his stuff...

Cheryl: We all know bacon is Mark`s Achilles heel. What food would your husband push old people out of the way for?

Liz: If it's sweet, expect Jonathan's nose to be right in the thick of it. Coke, condensed milk, corn-syrup-laced treasures from the nearest 7-11, cotton candy, white sugar on a spoon...

Dorothee: No doubt - protein powder aux cereal.

Tina: Probably chocolate...and those chicken pesto wraps from McDonalds.

Christine: Chocolate cake. MY chocolate cake.

Cheryl: Let`s say your husband is a (real) superstar. What endorsement deal would you like him to land? What endorsement deal would he like to land?

Dorothee: Free flights, accommodation, and 3 extra weeks off to spend time in the town/country of destination for the 3 of us. Plus enough income that we would not have to work any other job/but running and keeping a runner happy. I guess my running husband and I are pretty much on the same page here.

Tina: I'd like an airline company, or a kitchen cabinet company (I'm in need). Steve would love Porsche, or at least a car wash company - daily car washes for the rest of his life = happy place!

Christine: I would like him to land a Calvin Klein underwear ad campaign... Something a la David Beckham perhaps. He probably would like to land a contract with Nike. My idea is more exciting, though.

Cheryl: "Running wives" know way too much information about their husband`s running partners. What tidbit of information did you see a therapist for after you heard?

Dorothee: You certainly need a massage therapist for sore tummy muscles after not being able to stop laughing, but, you know, some things simply should not be posted!

Tina: So, not sure why this is, but Steve usually runs pretty much solo (except the occasional fast trax run). Any partner-running is with women so, occasionally, I hear about internet dating and the frequency of her pee breaks.

Christine: AJ doesn't dish. You're in the clear, boys.

Cheryl: If you had to give any advice to other "running wives", what would it be?

Liz: Don't mess with the running gear. Don't wash it ("I'll only have to wear it again tomorrow"), don't fold it, don't bleach it, don't tumble-dry it, don't stitch it, don't hang it up, don't move it ("Liz, have you seen my ....?"), don't put it away in a drawer thinking that's where it belongs, don't sniff it and definitely don't cut it up and throw it in the rag bag. I repeat: don't mess with the running gear.

Dorothee: 1) Don't ever feel sorry for the time you have to yourself because he is running - it is a real treat which some women don't get at all. 2) Don't be a nurse but always ask for support in activities you are interested in and soon there will be a balance in expectations.

Tina: 1) He could be doing something worse and getting into all kinds of trouble - this habit I can live. 2) Remind him to put his wedding ring on after he's done running (ask Steve)!

Christine: a) Never make him feel guilty about going for a run. Encourage it; it's worth it. Running, as crazy as it is, keeps your husband sane and happy. b) Join in. Seriously. We have had some of the best times together when we are running a marathon in a fabulous destination. He just arrives at the finish line hours before me. So what?

So it appears that Anderson's song is true, "Along with the sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometimes." Our husbands may be a tad neurotic when it comes to everything running, but if that is the biggest storm that hits our marriages, life's not bad.

Thanks for sharing, ladies!

2010-07-01T17:41:00.000-07:00

Well, Canada Day 2010 has come and gone. This is a great race and I think everyone should do it...unless you are faster than me. If this is you, stay home.

In all seriousness, it was a good day for me and my sexy socks, but a better day for my friends Michael and Laurie! Michael won the 5K, and Laurie came first in her age group. Well done; those young-uns have nothing on us (forgive me as I shamelessly share your spotlight).

I also want to give a shout-out to the infamous AJ Rankel. On Canada's 143rd birthday, AJ crossed the finish line at a local triathlon after Paul Tichelaar. Number two after a freakin' olympian. Is there anything AJ can't do?!

Happy Canada Day everyone!

St Albert 10 miler

2010-04-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Not a great run today. But, a great race, and plenty of other good race performances by other friends of mine. You all know who you are.....

That`s all I have to say about that.

A true master shows himself in the Comox Valley half-marathon

2010-03-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Basil and myself traveled to Beautiful British Columbia for the Comox Valley half-marathon. We met fellow runner Greg Meiklejohn there. We all had good runs, however Greg had an outstanding one, setting a new age group record of 1:18:08 for the 50-54 category.

This post is dedicated to him.

Spring, please spring!

2010-02-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

This is just an excuse to post motorcycle photo`s. The Kawasaki is my beautiful ZX12R, and the other bike has a paint job I would like to do on mine. The WWII fighter scheme. Soon.....

Mark and A.J. running video

2010-01-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

Mark and A.J. running video

2010-01-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

The agonies of running (My stupid brain!)

2009-11-29T16:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, This may come as a shock but I'd like to be serious for a moment. I'm interested in hearing from other runners about the mental aspect of running. Admittedly, I find difficult to get out the door to run sometimes and my mind doesn't always help matters!

What got me thinking about this was Brendan Lunty`s guest column on Basil`s blog. Brendan mentioned how he loves to run:
- in the rain
- in the dark
- in the cold
- at the track
- in the city

There was more love going on than at a sixty`s hippy orgy!

Do not get me wrong, I do love running, just not how Brendan loves running. Am I alone?

So, my questions are these:

Do you find it easy to get out the door to do your training runs?

Do you experience mental ups and downs while you are on your training runs? During races?

Tell me the truth people! Tell me your experiences.

Felix and Poppy.

2009-11-21T21:30:00.000-08:00

Felix and Poppy.

2009-11-21T20:58:00.000-08:00

Felix and Poppy.

2009-11-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

2009-11-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

Felix and Poppy.

A week in the running life, Part two

2009-11-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

http://aliasbasil.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/the-running-life-of-mark-armstrong-part-two/

My interview with Oprah

2009-11-16T19:30:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to an interview I did with Oprah. Enjoy!

http://aliasbasil.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/the-running-life-of-mark-armstrong-part-one/

Style critique please

2009-11-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Just to let you know, tomorrow morning a transcript of a big interview I did will be made public after extensive editing. It`s big, baby! I will post a link in the morning.

To keep things interesting, here are a couple video`s of my "unique" running style for all to critique. They were shot at the Sinister 7 relay this past July. The second one has the entire relay team running in with me for the highly lucrative race win. I am a professional.....

Any opinions on my running style? Critical comments? Fans? Haters? Fencesitters?

Back to reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

After five weeks in Asia, it`s back to reality and a training program. Even though I was on holiday, I managed to keep running five to six days a week, 45 minutes to 90 minutes at a time. Just steady running, no fast stuff. (Like I could run fast anyway!)

It was a great time, and very interesting running. Although my balance was forced to improve thanks to the rough seas, I still prefer running on land. Here's the skivvy:

Japan
Japanese like to run with very minimal arm swing; their arms hang down by their hips and pretty much stay there. (I run with massive and erratic arm swing. Very odd looking, which you will agree with if you have seen me run!) I did see many runners and most were friendly. It was difficult to run, bow, and say konnichiwa all at the same time. I know this level of friendliness, or any friendliness at all, is very different for some Canadian runners I know to comprehend. You know the ones, they never say hello and purposely try to look mean (but look constipated instead). You know who you are; Metamucil may offer some relief.

My run in Naha, Okinawa was exceptionally interesting. The temperature was around 28c, but the humidity was off the scale! At the halfway point, the monsoon started. Then, I got lost. My last minute sprint to the ship earned me dirty looks...again. I enjoyed running in the rain though, it was beautifully warm. (See the picture of me below. I am drenched; it took my shoes two days to dry!)

Korea
It was nice.

China
What an entirely different experience. The pollution is beyond imagination (see the photo above). It smelled as bad as it looks! My goal was to run in every city we visited, so away I went.

The problems run deeper than pollution. The sidewalks, if they exist at all, are rough. Mostly it`s running on the side of the road or broken concrete. This is best case scenario. In Beijing, or especially Shanghai, the sheer amount of people, bikes, scooters, and cars make running almost impossible. I am amazed I survived. Seriously.

Some highlights: Climbing the Great Wall. That was something. The grade is steeper than I expected and is freakin' high up. (See photo above.) I also ran the Olympic marathon course in Beijing. Again, see photo. Right down the blue line for at least three metres. "He`s pulling away from the pack. Can he do it?" ....Nah, I had a beer instead. Tsingtao - Mao`s favorite!

Anyway, I had a run today with a friend who is an "elite" athlete. It was the first time I've run with someone else in five weeks. I prefer running alone.....

The Japanese think I run funny

2009-10-12T02:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it`s been a while since I`ve posted and a lot has happened.

Friends have run marathon`s all over the world and I have been running my way around a typhoon in the far-east.
My running is going really well. I thought I was going to get really lazy and just gain weight. I was half right! I am actually running really consistently and since we left Vancouver September 23rd, I have only taken two days off. It`s really great when you can run and then relax afterwards and nap, etc. Not possible when I am workin for the man.

It`s interesting. I have run in three different Japanese cities and I have noticed something. They seem to run like the famous female Japanese who runs with minimal or non-existent arm swing. It`s strange to see, I must say. And I run by swinging my arms like a bad baseball player swinging away at thin air. (That was me as a kid)

Also, relating to Basil`s post about antique shoes, check out these twenty year old Saucony`s I spotted. I should have bought them off the guy! (I took the photo without his knowledge, was that stealing?)

Tomorrow I am in South Korea. I wonder if I might get shot while I am running? Or taken prisoner by the crazy North Korean dictator? If I do, will the two people besides my wife write letters on my behalf to have me released?

Thanks in advance.

Mark.

Making the best of an imperfect running situation

2009-10-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

I`ve been at sea for seven days and it`s been a pretty rough crossing so far. Gale force winds across the deck and twelve foot waves don't make for ideal running conditions so, with the exception of a couple of days, I've had to take my workouts indoors. Most runners I know have a hate-hate relationship with the dreaded treadmill. Surprisingly though, my running is going pretty good; I am getting in my long runs, easy runs, and interval workouts. Not surprisingly though, I am the only one on the ship doing any of this. Everyone else is 75 years old, and if they are on a treadmill, they're walking in jeans and dress shirts. They clearly do not know what to make of me. I amuse them, I think. A form of unpaid entertainment.....

As I mentioned in my last post, I have to run on a small deck on the top of the ship. There is a wonderful deck down below that circles the entire ship, but I am forbidden from using it. Check out the damn serious warning in the photo. On a more serious note, it is always important to hydrate, even at sea (see photo).

My next entry will in just over a week. It appears the Japan Ministry of Communications doesn't allow foreign ships to use Internet while in Japanese waters. Interesting...

Slow Boat to China

2009-09-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

I am four days into a Pacific crossing to Japan and my running is going really well; I think my left leg and ankle are finally at about 85 percent.

I have never run in near gale force winds...until yesterday. I truly feared I would be blown off the deck never to be seen again! (See Photo - Cheryl had trouble standing to take the picture.) For the last few days, I've been running on a postage-stamp sized track on the top deck that takes 45 seconds to circle. You may ask, "Why are you running in little circles, Mark, especially since there is a beautiful and wonderfully long lower deck?" Well, because there are signs everywhere saying, "JOGGING IS NOT PERMITTED ON THE LOWER DECK". I do not understand this. Jogging died off at the end of the seventies, did it not? And I run sans terrycloth head and wrist bands. (Hey Jack, can you get me some of those? They could come back.)

Maybe my "jogging" could frighten some of the older passengers. I am already getting looks that say, "That punk is obviously up to no good. Let`s get him when he comes around again..... What were we talking about?..."

Some observations about life on the ship:

When a ship is really rolling, the treadmill takes a lot of skill. Do not bother setting the incline since it already feels like you're running up and down big hills. When the swells are at 12 feet, it's like like running on a roller coaster.

I estimate the average age on board to be at least 65. In the fitness center, they all are wearing New Balance shoes. I am a "mature" runner. Jack has put me in New Balance shoes. Hmnnnnnn........

I am liking this day-to-day routine. I have a toasted bagel, fruit, freshly squeezed orange juice, and coffee delivered to my room at 6:30, and am running at 7:30. By 9, I am at the thermal spa. Then, around 10, it`s breakfast, which consists of bacon, bacon, and more bacon. The rest of the day is a combination of yoga, napping, reading, and more eating. At 8pm it's time for dinner - a four course gourmet masterpiece paired with fabulous wine. This routine will continue until next Sunday when we arrive at Hakodate, Japan...and I will weigh in at around 350 pounds.

BTW - Since my running partner, Jon, posts pictures of his Whippets, I can post a picture of my Blue Point Siamese, Eva, with her new friend courtesy of Jon's wife Liz.

'Til next time,

Mark

Mountain biking stupidity and being a spectator at the Rotary Run

2009-09-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin....

It`s been an interesting time since the Canadian Death Race.

I took fifteen days off to allow my ankle to return to a semi-normal state, with a gradual return to running. In no time, things were almost normal and I had resumed my speedwork. It was then that my good friend Shawn offered me an unbelievable deal on his DH mountain bike. I used to race motocross a long time ago and have a thing for bikes and dirt. Unfortunately, this combination tends to hurt me.

It`s a beautiful bike that I have lusted after for some time. Everything on it is upgraded and premium. And my mountain bike was, well, old. I had no choice really and handed over the cash.

I have been riding with Shawn for awhile and he is an expert. I am not. But, on my awesome new ride, maybe I could be...

We ride the extreme river valley trails in Fort Saskatchewan which are maintained by Shawn and the local club he rides with. To keep the story relatively short, I crash in exactly the same spot twice in two weeks. Over the bars both times. The first time we have a good laugh; not so much the second time. After I connect the ground, my beautiful new bike betrays me and slams into the back of my left leg. It hurts a lot. I manage to ride out, cursing my stupidity. Stupid brain, how did you get me into this!? Needless to say, this has put a damper on my running. I also leave on a Far East holiday in mere days, not returning until November (Cheryl is not impressed and I'm not getting a lot of sympathy on the home front...).

This is why I was only a spectator at the Rotary Run in Stony Plain this morning.

Life is a contradiction; I hate watching other people run, but I like it too. They are hurting and I am drinking coffee whilst criticizing their form, speed, clothing, hairstyle, social status, and choice of friends.

As usual, Team Fasttrax crushed the competition in the "looking smart category" and the "running category". Kurt and Brian in the 10K, Jonathan (Mr. Jon Than when in Stony Plain), and Greg run with ease...

It is at this point I should mention my friends A.J., Stephen, and David. A.J. and Stephen are preparing for Fall marathons, and David is just continuing his habit of running fast races. A.J. runs pretty well, even with his recent mixmaster injury. Always the optimist, he makes efficient use his tensor bandage by turning it into a straw holder. (see appropriate photo now)

I was drinking coffee at a pace no one else could even remotely approach. In your face, Grandma! (I sincerely apologize to all grandmothers, past and present for this comment.)

That`s all for now. Check out the photos.

Thoughts inside my head: I wonder if Jack is regretting putting me on the team and having a blog on his website after reading all my wacko posts! But then, nobody is reading this..

Canadian Death Race - August 1 to 3 2009

2009-09-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday night of the Labour Day long weekend and still 22c outside. I'm on my deck, sharing some Spanish wine with Cheryl, and trying to recall the craziness that occurred about one month ago at the Canadian Death Race. So much to tell....

To quote the Death Race website, "It's a killer". I liked to mock that but changed my mind after I actually did it! "For nearly a decade, elite racers have come here to cheat death in one of the world's toughest adventure races." Who actually thought this was true!

I was privileged to be part of Team Quikcard/Norden Auto Haus/Aman Building Corp/Fasttrax/Go Backpackers Hostel. - defending champions. The team consisted of:

Leg 1 - Petra Graen - Internationally ranked ultra marathoner
Leg 2 - Gary Poliquin - Former Canadian Death Race Solo Winner
Leg 3 - Steve Baker - Team organizer, leader
Leg 4 - Jonathan Withey - Elite runner, Death Race leg record holder, (Correct me if I`m wrong but I think he`s not from around here)
Leg 5 - Little ole`me

Naturally, I was feeling pressure to perform.

July 31, 2009 - Steve and Jon pick me up in a beautiful silver Porshe Cayenne, courtesy of Norden Auto Haus; I am not accustom to this level of sponsorship.

For five hours, Jon and I listen to Steve talk....I laugh solid the whole time! We arrive for the pasta dinner (which is actually pretty good), hook up with Petra and Gary, then head over to our accommodation for a pre-race briefing (which involves eating Lays baked potato chips).

August 1, 2009 - Saturday greets us with an unusually warm morning; a sign of bad things to come. Petra`s up first and full of positive energy; I`m envious. She goes for a run before her run. The rest of us stumble to the start to see her off and see running celebrity, Dale Karnazes. He`s smaller than me! Who knew...

The gun goes off and Dale Tuck blows out of the gate as per usual. I suspect it has to do with his compression tights. Petra is in close pursuit. The course has them loop back past the start within a few minutes. Some young guy wearing a University of Saskatchewan shirt whips by first, followed closely by Dale and Petra. Bets are on - how long before Sask boy crashes and burns. Surprisingly, he wins the leg. As usual, Petra runs a great leg and sets us up in a good position.

Leg 2 - Out goes Gary. It`s hot, very hot, and getting hotter each minute. The heat is intense and all leg 2 runners do their best. Most runners come into transition in distress and require urgent medical attention; Gary is no exception. It`s amazing he finished the leg. Some teams drop out; Jon and I assist in the transfer of the chip and coin to Steve. Gary cannot stand and cannot breathe; we are scared.

Leg 3 - Although worried about Gary`s condition, Steve takes off. Gary fought hard to stay in this race and Steve`s not going to let him down. (After significant attention from the medics, Gary recovers and is ok.) Its 27c. I wonder what Steve thinks about during his 19km run....the toe nail clippings in the ashtray back at the house; is the Porshe clean enough; maybe Ella, his sweet little girl....

Leg 4 - Jonathan is up to bat. Before he takes off, Jon says to me, ``I`ll gain back a half hour. You gain 15 minutes and we`re back in this thing.`` I say OK. Jon proceeds to destroy the course and all the competition. He puts us back into second place; only three minutes behind the first place team. A run beyond imagination....

Leg 5 - I`m full of confidence, ready to eat up the competition and the course. This is unusual for me! My plan is to catch the first place guy in the first 5 km, then run in easy.

Mistake 1 - I take off like I`m racing on a road course. After a brief, steep climb, I find myself on an off-camber, slightly downhill, twisty, rooty, over-grown, trail about a foot wide. I am running way too fast for this terrain (hindsight is a wonderful thing). Within 10 minutes, I mildly roll my left ankle. Five minutes later, I mildly roll my right ankle. My brain says ``this is bad``; my body says ``it`s not too bad, yet``.

Mistake 2 - A couple minutes later I roll my left ankle again. This time, even my body says ``it`s freakin` bad``. I roll it so badly, I collapse into the bush screaming. After I manage to stand, I have to hop on one foot until I can put weight on the other. I hobble down the trail, progressing from a walk to a slow jog, then to a run. I have to completely modify my form to run on one leg. Every step, I try to place my left foot on a level surface to avoid rolling it again; if that happens, I`m done and will let the team down.

I have 17km left to go. Wonderful. I wanted this to be a moment of triumph and it`s going to be a disaster. I can`t believe I let this happen....

I make it to the river crossing and am greeted by Jon and Steve. Jon yells, ``believe, believe``. It reallys helps me a lot.

The boat has to come from the other side of the river to pick me up. The Grim Reaper sips his Budweiser as we wait. He tells me first place is only minutes in front. After I get across, I climb a big GD hill while nursing my ankle. Finally the course levels out and I manage to run at a reasonable pace. I emerge from the woods with four km to go and a big climb into town. I see Gary and Jon; they tell me I closed the gap to less than two minutes. I`m in pain.

When I get onto the gravel road, I see the first place runner and he sees me. He picks up his pace enough to hold me off. Bastard. I run the leg better than I thought, but not as well as I`d hoped.

Although team North Face finishes first, the overall winner is in doubt. The river crossing time is the factor. After both leg 5 runners are interviewed by course officials, my ankle has a date with a garbage can lid full of ice.

Mistake 3 - I pull off my shoe and my ankle swells to the size of a tree trunk. The medics want to take me to the hospital; no way, I`m not missing leg 6!

August 2, 2009 - Leg 6 - I witness many things but what happens in Grande Cache stays in Grande Cache... Right Jack, Steve, Jon....

We also find out the official results - we place second.

August 3, 2009 - On Monday, Jon and Steve drop me off at U of A emergency. I get an x-ray and call Cheryl. This is not the first time Cheryl picks up the pieces. Turns out my efforts result in a grade two strain and cost me my full marathon in Regina and half marathon in Edmonton.

I regret nothing.

Addendum: - After running leg 1, Petra, in her usual kindness, volunteers to lead a blind runner on a 3 hour leg so she can experience the Death Race. What a amazing lady! - My lips aren`t completely sealed about the ``what happens in Grande Cache`` thing. Buy me a martini and I`ll sing like a bird....
Many thanks to my good friend Jonathan for helping me have my best year ever!

.

Sinister 7 - July 5-6, 2009

2009-09-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Sinister 7 Team Relay - "You can expect to run from 12km to 30km on rugged trail, depending on which leg you chose. Each of the seven stages is different and you can see the descriptions of the legs here. Unless your team can complete the 146km course in 14 hours, you may also be running in the dark. Each leg is a little different and you should expect to be far out in the wilderness, at least for a short period of time. Although you are on a team, the help you receive on course is very limited."

From the Sinister 7 website

Our team, Team Fasttrax/B&B Demolition, defending champions, consists of:

David "The Legendary" Livingstone - Leg 1

Petra "Super Woman" Graen - Leg 2

AJ "Super Man" Rankel - Leg 3

Michael "Machine" McBeth - Leg 4

Glenn "Unstoppable" Mack - Leg 5

Steve "I Get Things Done" Baker (Team Lead) - Leg 6

Fat-Ass Armstrong - Leg 7

It's 7:00 a.m. David is at the start line and Petra is on the bus. The horn blows and David is off like a shot. Leg 1 is revised from last year and has newly added wicked downhill. David is strong and gives the team a great start.

Leg 2 - Petra heads on a 16 km, single track, ATV trail. Better her than me. Petra is an elite ultra-marathoner (actually national level) and is not to be messed with, anywhere, by anyone.

Leg 3 - AJ's up. The man is amazing. If you've never met him, you're missing out. 33K with a 1237 elevation gain. Truly the hardest leg of the race and AJ does it in a freakishly fast time.

Leg 4 - It's all about Michael "Machine" McBeth. 32K straight up and 30C. The heat is oppressive. Cheryl, Steve, and Michael's wife Dorothee catch up with Michael about half way into the run. Michael is in a zone; very focused.

Leg 5 - We are in a fierce battle for numero ono and the perfect runner is up to bat...Glenn Mack. 22.7K. This leg tries even the toughest of racers and Glenn gains 17 minutes on our competition. We are firmly in first place.

Leg 6 - Sure-footed Steve takes off. The heat is relentless. Cheryl overhears a volunteer on a radio saying "the first place team runner is a couple km away and is coming fast". That's Steve!

Leg 7 - Oh god, here I go again. I manage to run the entire climb (as opposed to last year) and survive the equally nasty, nasty downhill. The rest of the run into town in uneventful except for the %^&* headwind I have to fight. My team meets me near the finish line and, like last year, all run in together. Man, I am glad that's over! I realize I'm feeling the effects of Canada Day (run three days before). Not too bright!

We win by 7 or 8 minutes. Hats off to the second place, 3 man, team consisting of Robin Bloom, Gary Poqolin, and Greg Mieklejohn (sorry for the misspelled names)!

The evening ends with pizza, Prosecco, and tunes compliments of the Mack family. I fall asleep thankful I'm not a soloist running through the night. They're crazy....right Jack? Tracy?

Canada Day Road Race 2009

2009-09-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful Wednesday morning - July 1, 2009. I meet top runners, AJ Rankel and Stephen Toal, at Stephen's house. The mood is light, subdued (my attempt at humor is greeted by obligatory laughter). We do a warm-up run to the legislative grounds and head straight for the porta potty. The long lines force us to use other alternatives....

Start time is drawing near. AJ, Stephen, and I make our way to the front of the start line. Greeting us is Matt Normington, Nial McGrath, and Brian Torrence. Damn, this is NOT going to be a easy race! I stealthily check out my competition; I'm feeling fat in my compression gear....

Once again, I surprise myself and start slowly. AJ and everyone else tear off down the hill at 5 million miles an hour; Stephen and I plod down the hill together. Stephen pulls away from me at about 1K to catch AJ. I pass 1K at 3:30 - a bit fast. It takes me to Groat Bridge before I pull up to Stephen and ask him why we do this! I don't remember his answer, but I am sure it was witty.

Stephen and I stick together until the entrance to Hawrelak Park. AJ and Russell Goeschalk are just a few steps ahead. At this point, I feel a boost of confidence, which I can thank fellow Fasttrax runner, Jonathan Withey, for (Jon and I have spent countless hours doing speed work in the park). It's slightly downhill and I want to take advantage of the grade.

I pass Stephen, Russell, and AJ and start closing on Nial. Near the edge of the park, I somehow succeed. Next comes the cruel climb up Emily Murphy Hill. I feel like I crawl up the hill; at the top is Christine Rankel, AJ's lovely wife (and brilliant photographer). She doesn't recognize me due to my girth and heavy breathing.

Unknown to me, there is a clash of the titans happening for sixth place (which I am glad I had no part of)! Nial and AJ battled side-by-side from Emily Murphy to the finish. AJ edges Nial at the line, but Nial gets AJ on chip time. Very exciting!!

I hold my pace, feeling stronger than I have a right to. I cross the line in 53:51, 5th overall. Not bad for an old, "thick" guy. I think this may actually be the best race I have ever had....

2009 HSBC Calgary Marathon

2009-09-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

My feeling in the week leading up to the marathon was that I was in waaaaay over my head. Again. But I had to show up, as I had new shoes to run in and they are very nice! I was really freaked out about having to run in the heat. I run like shit in the heat, worse than usual! And to freak me out even more, my mileage was not what I felt it should be due to this and that. Mostly mental injuries. You know, the ones that feel really serious and you take a day off and they are completely gone!) And, to top it all off I was feeling really fat.

Cheryl and I get to Calgary just in time Friday night for the free food and booze for the elite athlete`s at the Hyatt. (I know you are wondering why I was there. I lied saying I would run a 2:25 marathon and Jeremy Deere believed me! Sucker!!!!!) I am eating celery and drinking water while there is wonderful, free scotch calling to me. So cruel! And Cheryl is eating wonderful looking canapes and drinking wonderful wine. I gotta get this free stuff sometime when I can take advantage, not now! Well, I have noticed this fellow in the corner who I think looks a lot like Jon Brown.

Through the use of my superior, Hercule Poirot like deduction I figure out it is indeed Jon Brown. (Somebody called him Jon and he answered yes. In a snobby British accent. Those British are sooo damn snobby!)) This is the Jon Brown who finished 4th in two Olympic marathons! (first loser, really) I wander over casually to have a conversation.

It goes like this:

Mark- are you Jon Brown!?

Jon- yes, yes I am.

Mark- cool.

Long, uncomfortable silence followed by me slinking away in a most embarrassing manner.

I spend Saturday worrying, fretting, eating and drinking. Until 7 PM that night when a good friend of ours who is putting Cheryl and I up whilst in Calgary graciously offers to give me a hypnotherapy session to help me with my run. I really suspect it is to stop me from ripping my hair out in clumps. I agree, thinking I need all the GD help I can get! To be truthful, I am a huge disbeliever in pretty much everything. (except the Moonies, that cult`s got it going on!) But I think it helped me. Stopped me from pulling my hair out, anyhow.

I sleep not too bad, and wake up at 5 for my one slice of toast and jam. Cheryl drives to the VIP parking lot. (this is awesome!) We arrive at 6, with plenty of time. I spend the next hour going back and forth to the porta-potty, you know the drill. The weather is perfect for the start, maybe 8 degree`s. But, there is no cloud and no breeze which worries me. I do no warmup. (I can warmup in the race, it`s a freakin marathon!) It`s then I realize how long it`s been since I ran a marathon. I am completely unprepared. I have no bodyglide, and no gels. Oh well, I guess I`m going anyway!

The gun goes off and in the first kilometer I do something unprecedented in Mark Armstrong`s marathoning history. I make a smart decision early. I decide not to run my marathon pace which I have been using in training. (3:53/KM) I decide to try and keep the pace around 4, or just slightly under. I can go for broke another day, I need to get this one under my belt or I may give up on the marathon. (Well, not really)

At around KM 2 I hook up with the Brendan Lunty, and his training partner from Camrose Ian Blokland. When I see Brendan I shake my fist at him and yell "Lunty"! (I stole that from you A.J. I know, but I like it!) At KM three we pass the 1:45 half pacer. He really, really needs to be
fired. His group is dying. I`d be pretty mad if I were one of them, but then again maybe they all ran a 1:25! However, I doubt that happened.

We run together until maybe 5K until I tell Brendan to go away as he is making me run too fast as I just want to run sub 2:50, not 2:43. (on this day. Ha, Ha, Ha!) He trot`s away, like the fast runner he is. Bastard! This leaves me with Ian, who then refuses to shut up. Nice fellow, I like him a lot. But shut the hell up!

The conversation:

Ian-the last k was 3:55, wanna know what I did last night?

Mark-grunt.

I am feeling quite good as we approach the biggest hill in the race around KM 16 or so. Once again, I think I run pretty smart. I tell Ian that I am not running up this hill hard at all and he can do whatever he wants. He stays with me and I run comfortable up the hill doing 4:30`s which feel fine.

We arrive at the halfway around 1:24:45 which I am happy with. Around KM 25 I spot my wonderful wife who asks me how I am doing. I respond with a "not good". I was actually doing quite well, but was thinking of the hardship to come. I am running back down the big jesus hill when I pass 32k and change and realize all I have to do is run under 41 minutes for 10K and I`ve got it in the bag. Any idiot can do that, I think. Not so fast, you idiot.... However, I just keep running and holding my pace without a lot of problem.

At around 40k I am closing on a runner and as I come alongside he stops dead. His friends on the curb yell frantically at him, and I feel no sympathy for him as I push forward. (am I bad?)

When I can finally see the clock I realize things are looking good. I cross the line with clock reading 2:49:56. Home free with the sub 2:50! I think..... They announce me as top master. Hey, I made money! it`s good to be old!

I feel surprisingly good, with no stomach problems or any problems at all. I took water at every 2 stations with Gatorade in between. I took no gels. I carried one that I was given on the course, but threw it away after carrying it for 25 minutes deciding whether or not to take it.

I am very happy, collect my money and Cheryl drives me home.

I really want to thank my friends and Jack at Fasttrax for all their help these last couple of years. I likely do not deserve all the help I have received. Thank you.

One last thing. Never, ever, run a marathon. It`s long, and it hurts a lot.